Caddy Story
      with David Feherty

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David Feherty, CBS golf commentator, former 8-time European Tour winner and a former Ryder Cup member has always had a storytelling and comedic genius about him. Both the caddies and players have gotten a few  a good laughs out of him over the years, as well as today's golf fans who are witness to this original Irish Golfing Wit. And now we have the arrival of his first novel, "A Nasty Bit of Rough". (Pictured is ‘Sir David’ himself with a copy of the first edition of this novel with a March 1, 2002 release date).

It’s about the misadventures of Sir Richard Gussett, a character Feherty originally created and debuted in his monthly column, "Sidespin", in Golf Magazine. It’s focused around the rivalry between the "Scrouts Wood Golf Club and the longstanding rivalry between the MacGregor Clan of the Tay Club, both in the pursuit of the most prestigious prize in golf, the petrified middle finger of St. Andrew, patron Saint of Scotland!

( -"So David, anything about caddies in your new book?"

(Feherty)  -"There are two gay caddies in my novel –Mills and Boone! And there’s a dog that f---s a sheep."


–"Hopefully, that’s no reflection on caddies!?  How about a couple caddy stories from your days playing in Europe?"

(Feherty)  -"Yorky Bill and Jungle Jim were two of the caddies traveling the European Tour years ago. (They’re both dead now). Jungle had a facial twitch and only one tooth in the front, and he had such a bad facial twitch that it affected his speech. And they both spoke with a tremendous Manchester accent, (they both were from the north of England)."

"They both got on a train one day, and they only had one ticket between them and they were going from Leeds to York to work a tournament called the Card Care International. Jungle gets on the train with Yorky, and he says’ ‘Yorky, what we gonna do, we’ve only got one ticket?’ Yorky looks at him and says, ‘Jungle, you just stick with me, I’ll look after ya, you’ll be alright’ So the train pulls out of the station and Yorky spies a women going to use the bathroom up in the next car. Yorky, nudges Jungle Jim, ‘Watch this!’ "

"So he waits until she has time to get in there and ‘settled down’, on the tiny seat in there, when he knocks on the door and says ‘Tickets, Tickets Please!’ There’s a response from the woman, ‘But I’m on the toilet!’ And Yorkies response, ‘Just shove it under the door!’ So this woman fumbles around in her purse and she shoves the ticket under the door, Yorky picks it up, walks over back into their car and sits down beside Jim, and hands it to him. Jim says to him, ‘Yorky you’re a genius, a f---ing genius you are!’"

"Another time Yorky lost his teeth one night, he’d thrown up, he was so hammered, so shit faced, that when he woke up, he couldn’t find his teeth in the morning. Normally, he took them out at night, but he couldn’t remember this time. Jungle thought for a while and ‘sort of had this memory from the previous evening’, -‘Yorky, I think I can find them.’ And he goes outside and walks down the lane to an area that he remembered Yorky had thrown up the previous evening! And sure enough Jungle got his teeth out of a hedge and brings them back to him!’ "

( –"How about your good old caddy Rocket Rodney, -(Rodders!)?"

(Feherty) -"Rodders once actually missed a day completely, and didn’t know it in Italy, when he was working for me. After the first round we shot even par, and that night Rodders went out with Olazabel Dave, and had a complete ‘skin fill’. They were sharing a room and according to Dave they got back about 4 AM.  Rodney snored so bad that Dave said he had to pull the drapes out of his nose a couple times! He was in terrible shape when they got up in the morning. So they get on the caddy bus to the golf course in the morning and Rodders goes to the back of the bus and falls fast asleep!"

"The bus makes the morning trip out to the golf course with Rodders out cold in the back; the caddies all pile off the bus and forget about him, leaving Rodney in the back of the bus! He’s asleep for about two hours when the bus makes its way back to start picking up the afternoon caddies, when Rodders now suddenly wakes up and now thinks that he’s just come back from a hard days work at the golf course! Still feeling awful he goes back to his room and back to bed!"

"He wakes up about 8 PM thinking it’s morning of the next day, and comes down to what he thinks is breakfast, and all the caddies are now back from the second day of play. One of them says to Rodney, ‘And where the hell were you?’ He says, 'What the hell do ya mean, where was I, I was caddying just like you blokes!’ –‘No way you didn’t even show up for work!’ Rodders replied, ‘But, We shot 72!’ 

-‘No, No, Rodders, that was Yesterday!’ -'He’d missed the day completely!''

More to come with David Feherty at a later date!


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